so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
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Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
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then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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