Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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