this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
someone owes me an orgasm
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
