Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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