I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
