it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
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Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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