their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
