Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.

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  (440): we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now. http://tfl.nu/0eqq
  Replies (9) Good night (3747) Bad night (1017)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker

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  (304): please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker http://tfl.nu/hr9i
  Replies (15) Good night (1315) Bad night (4229)
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  (408): View more from California

  New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.

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  (408): New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority. http://tfl.nu/3oej
  Replies (18) Good night (5239) Bad night (1430)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin

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  (847): but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin http://tfl.nu/l2xr
  Replies (11) Good night (5975) Bad night (1193)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.

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  (248): That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that. http://tfl.nu/u3z8
  Replies (7) Good night (2397) Bad night (1472)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.

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  (360): Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised. http://tfl.nu/xha6
  Replies (45) Good night (2070) Bad night (4002)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.

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  (208): You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip. http://tfl.nu/pvxn
  Replies (7) Good night (2135) Bad night (971)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.

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  (706): The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina. http://tfl.nu/6jcd
  Replies (10) Good night (2492) Bad night (774)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again

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  (503): i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again http://tfl.nu/nar2
  Replies (5) Good night (835) Bad night (455)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.

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  (904): As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now. http://tfl.nu/x89u
  Replies (6) Good night (721) Bad night (383)
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  (710): View more from

  It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.

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  (710): It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse. http://tfl.nu/ozwb
  Replies (1) Good night (598) Bad night (362)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.

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  (630): His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up. http://tfl.nu/1y0y
  Replies (3) Good night (680) Bad night (435)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."

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  (757): I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that." http://tfl.nu/4f9a
  Replies (2) Good night (1223) Bad night (372)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar

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  (260): I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar http://tfl.nu/i4or
  Replies (3) Good night (567) Bad night (436)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  It just smells like spaghetti and despair.

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  (810): It just smells like spaghetti and despair. http://tfl.nu/q26z
  Replies (1) Good night (339) Bad night (478)

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