he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
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This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
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But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.