this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
