he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize