Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
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I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
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We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".