and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
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I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
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The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.