Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.

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  (516): If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals. http://tfl.nu/q4jm
  Replies (9) Good night (924) Bad night (1448)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?

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  (514): i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome? http://tfl.nu/1uvu
  Replies (18) Good night (3633) Bad night (732)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.

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  (423): he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft. http://tfl.nu/x178
  Replies (345) Good night (3160) Bad night (17596)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."

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  (303): maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..." http://tfl.nu/5h2o
  Replies (81) Good night (1008) Bad night (6585)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?

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  (630): is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit? http://tfl.nu/3vh4
  Replies (107) Good night (1029) Bad night (13033)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.

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  (503): I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best. http://tfl.nu/fuew
  Replies (15) Good night (4692) Bad night (1152)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you

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  (407): If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you http://tfl.nu/r9im
  Replies (21) Good night (1085) Bad night (4480)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara

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  (740): hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara http://tfl.nu/38gp
  Replies (14) Good night (779) Bad night (5345)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.

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  (302): because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride. http://tfl.nu/wwvv
  Replies (10) Good night (1180) Bad night (3826)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  ROADTRIP.

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  (405): Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak. (1-405): ROADTRIP. http://tfl.nu/2zv7
  Replies (20) Good night (1632) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?

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  (386): Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right? http://tfl.nu/g0nq
  Replies (6) Good night (885) Bad night (498)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?

  (1-574): View more from Indiana

  It has heated floors

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  (574): Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom? (1-574): It has heated floors http://tfl.nu/xj5h
  Replies (4) Good night (1709) Bad night (397)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign

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  (717): He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign http://tfl.nu/lo7q
  Replies (3) Good night (1026) Bad night (272)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian

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  (787): She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian http://tfl.nu/g8gz
  Replies (3) Good night (335) Bad night (629)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.

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  (314): I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel. http://tfl.nu/ipcm
  Replies (0) Good night (493) Bad night (352)

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