I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
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The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
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She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.