What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.