I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
