im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize