Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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