i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
