I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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