oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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