saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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