Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
