and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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