I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
