no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
my liver is dry heaving
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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