The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I did not marry a roomba.
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