so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
