News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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