I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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