you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
