my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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