Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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