Christians are straight up FREAKS
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
