i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
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How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
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He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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