i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
How does one acquire holy water?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
