U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I accidentally burped into my bong.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
