your thong is hanging out like whoa
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
