Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
