Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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