I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
