girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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