I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
