i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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