Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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