I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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