Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize