Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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