It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
