There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
