So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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