Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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