I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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