Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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