The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
