we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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