You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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