You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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