i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
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Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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