I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
How external is "for external use only"?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
