I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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