why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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