You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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