i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
