If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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